I Did Not Know...

That "West L.A. Fadeaway" was written about John Belushi...

Happy Birthday, Donna !!!

I just wanted to wish a very happy 60th birthday to Donna Jean !!!!

August 9th, 1995...

Okay, so I am a week and a half or so late on this one, but it was something I did not want to write on the fly. I beg your indulgence.

What can I say ? As much as I had dreaded that day, and yet knew that it was probably going to come sooner than expected, it still knocked me for a loop. It still does. It's weird, but I still miss him. Yet, I had never actually MET him. But he was (and remains) a major part of my life. The music, the sense of humor. The guitar. Christ, that guitar playing. Way underrated, if you ask me. I think he is so much considered this iconic, shamanistic figure, that the pure musicianship is lost in the shuffle. On a good night, I don't think there were many better than Jerry. Of course, as a rider of the so-called "bus", I may be a bit biased. Sue me.

I still hate how I found out that he died. I was working an awful job at an awful place, and I did not listen to the radio much in those days(still don't really, I guess).I was at work, and my boss came in to work, and I heard him saying over and over again..."Is he wearing it ? Is he wearing it ?"

He came over to my desk and said, "Are you wearing your Jerry Garcia tie ?"

"No", I answered. "Why?"

"Because he's dead." he replied.

And that was how I found out. I wasn't on the web at all in those days, so I found a radio, and that confirmed it. it was almost like he was gleeful about it. I mean, what the fuck ? So, on top of it being shitty news, I found out in a shitty, shitty way. I would not have thought there would be a way to make that news hurt more, but he found it.

I was really numb the rest of the day. I drove home. My Mom called, and my brother called, to see how I was, which I thought was very sweet of them. People were acting like a friend had died, which, of course, was true(in my head anyway) but I never really expected anyone else to react to me that way. it helped.

I played a lot of Dead tunes, smoked a lot of cigarettes, drank a couple of beers, and just sat in the courtyard of our apartment building in Los Angeles. I did not go to any of the vigils or anything, it just felt too personal to me.

I have gone through a lot of emotions since that day: anger at his being gone, regret that I had not seen more shows, would not see any more. But most of all, I am grateful(pardon the pun)... I am Grateful that the bus came by...that I got on...That I can enjoy this music from this band in my own way, that I found somewhere to belong. Thanks, Jerry. I still miss you, brother.

"Fare you well

Fare you well

I love you more than words can tell

Listen to the river sing sweet songs

To rock my soul..."- "Brokedown Palace"- Garcia/Hunter

Happy 30th, Terrapin Station...

Okay, so I'm a week late(and much more than a dollar short, but THAT'S a cliche for another day.)but I figure I've been doing these release date birthday thing-a-ma-jigs, so I may as well keep that going...Terrapin Station was thirty years old on Friday the 27th of July.

This might actually win as my least favorite Grateful Dead album...It has two of my all time favorite tunes(Estimated Prophet{I'm actually listening to a live version of "estimated" right now from Huntington, WV in April; of 1978 on GD Radio on Sirius} and Terrapin Station- Samson & Delilah is pretty kickass too) on it, but I really do think it's overly slick and waaaaay overproduced.

I don't really like the version of "Dancing in The Streets" and I have never really cared for "Passenger" either. 'sunrise" is pretty and a good example of Donna's voice, which I did always like, she just seemed to get lost on stage sometimes( and I never cared for the caterwauling in "Playin'"), and even the songs I do like are SO MUCH BETTER LIVE, which I know is almost always the case, but I, for one, can usually appreciate the studio versions as well.

I do like the extended version of Terrapin, and I would love to someday hear the interplay of Jerry & Mickey that was supposedly replaced by the drums and strings by the producer, but this is not a record that I listen to all that much, quite frankly.

So, Terrapin Station, I do love the turtles, and the weird skull cyclops on the back cover,and I do hope you had a good birthday.

Happy Birthday, Captain Trips !!!

Jerry Garcia would have been 65 today.
Hope you're having fun up there.